My vote goes to King Kong.
I defy anybody to give me a compelling argument as to a better monkey. Also none of this he's-not-technically-a-monkey business, you know what I mean.
First, my monkey can beat up your monkey. Also he was forcibly taken by boat to America where he finally broke free of his chains before getting shot up by The Man™ so he's like metaphorical and stuff. In conclusion, my monkey can beat up your monkey.
NO MY MONKEY IS BEST HE BROKE HIS CHAINS IN PROTEST ALL HE WANTED WAS SOME FOOD AND A WHITE WOMAN AND MAYBE A PACK OF KOOLS™ IF IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH TO ASK BUT THE MAN™ WOULDN'T HAVE IT AND NOW YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO KEEP MY MONKEY DOWN TOO
dang....don't we all want a white woman and a pack of KOOLS? this is hard for me to do, as Dunston and I go way back.....but......he can get a pack of KOOLS from the hotel bar any time he wants.
I CHANGE MY VOTE TO KING KONG!