This has been a topic of conversation among my friends and I lately and I'm wondering what opinions there are on the subject.

Can you truly be in love with more than one person at any given time? Or do you really only love one and perhaps just have strong feelings or lust for the other? Are other emotions or feelings easily mistaken for love? Especially since you can love someone without being IN love with them?


























I'd ask for only serious answers but I know that ain't gonna happen, so please just at least attempt to humor me for a minute. Thanks.

Tags: Whatslovegottodowithit

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short answer: yes.

 

i suppose that this depends on how you define loving a person vs being in love with a person. presumably, you have a deeper connection (be it emotional, physical, etc.) with the person you are in love with, but does having that connection with one person preclude you from experiencing it with another person at the same time? if we're capable of loving an infinite amount of people at one time, shouldn't we also be able to be in love with more than one person at a time?

 

I think no matter how you define love it's possible. At any point, anyone single/taken can be attracted to someone else. So all it takes is that special something to make someone fall in love.
I vote yes, with the caveat that it's very easy to confuse love and lust when you've been drinking
are you torn between me and Sean? it's okay, i love you too.

I'm glad you understand, Crystal.

 

Also, I'm super glad you're back.

 

 

 

crystalized said:

are you torn between me and Sean? it's okay, i love you too.
Yes, you can be in love with more than one person at a time. Society and the puritanical tendencies of the western world dictates we be monogamous and only believe that we can be in love with one person. If we are in love with more than one person and openly admit we are, we are labeled as some sort of freak.

Personally I would say you can truly be intimately in love with only one person at a time. There is always a "favorite" or one that you would put before anyone else. If however the person is a Gemini then this rule does not seem to apply to them...s. Also, I think it was a good idea that society/the western world pushed the norm towards single partners. Historically, in my religion, multiple wives were actually called "worries/troubles/ I don't know how to exactly translate the word...but you get the point. Women and Men both can get pretty jealous and I think this is part of human nature and not something society taught us. If there are any strong emotions towards another person that seem to be "love" you might want to take a look at what is going on in the previous relationship......imo

But if we humans were left to our own devices, we would not be monogamous. It's not in our nature. There are very few species that only have one partner for life.



Natkat128 said:

Personally I would say you can truly be intimately in love with only one person at a time. There is always a "favorite" or one that you would put before another. If however the person is a Gemini then this rule does not seem to apply to them...s. Also, I think it was a good idea that society/the western world pushed the norm towards single partners. Historically, in my religion, multiple wives were actually called "worries/troubles/ I don't know how to exactly translate the word...but you get the point. Women and Men both can get pretty jealous and I think this is part of human nature and not something society taught us. If there are any strong emotions towards another person that seem to be "love" you might want to take a look at what is going on in the previous relationship......imo

I think she means without the influence and pressure from society/religion.

 


brofessefef said:

 

We humans are left to our own devices.

Birdmagon said:

But if we humans were left to our own devices, we would not be monogamous. It's not in our nature. There are very few species that only have one partner for life.



Natkat128 said:

Personally I would say you can truly be intimately in love with only one person at a time. There is always a "favorite" or one that you would put before another. If however the person is a Gemini then this rule does not seem to apply to them...s. Also, I think it was a good idea that society/the western world pushed the norm towards single partners. Historically, in my religion, multiple wives were actually called "worries/troubles/ I don't know how to exactly translate the word...but you get the point. Women and Men both can get pretty jealous and I think this is part of human nature and not something society taught us. If there are any strong emotions towards another person that seem to be "love" you might want to take a look at what is going on in the previous relationship......imo

Yes. I should have been clearer.



suz{ANNE} said:

I think she means without the influence and pressure from society/religion.

 


brofessefef said:

 

We humans are left to our own devices.

Birdmagon said:

But if we humans were left to our own devices, we would not be monogamous. It's not in our nature. There are very few species that only have one partner for life.



Natkat128 said:

Personally I would say you can truly be intimately in love with only one person at a time. There is always a "favorite" or one that you would put before another. If however the person is a Gemini then this rule does not seem to apply to them...s. Also, I think it was a good idea that society/the western world pushed the norm towards single partners. Historically, in my religion, multiple wives were actually called "worries/troubles/ I don't know how to exactly translate the word...but you get the point. Women and Men both can get pretty jealous and I think this is part of human nature and not something society taught us. If there are any strong emotions towards another person that seem to be "love" you might want to take a look at what is going on in the previous relationship......imo

nah, there's all kinds of pressure on humans to fit in with the accepted norms and "traditions," and to avoid being cast out to the fringe of society people typically fall in line. the idea of a traditional marriage and monogamy is something that is instilled in us by society, religion, etc. that collective idea of how we should act does not always take into account how we do act.

birdie is absolutely right that monogamy is not in our nature. and tbh there's nothing wrong with that.


brofessefef said:

 

We humans are left to our own devices.

Birdmagon said:

But if we humans were left to our own devices, we would not be monogamous. It's not in our nature. There are very few species that only have one partner for life.



Natkat128 said:

Personally I would say you can truly be intimately in love with only one person at a time. There is always a "favorite" or one that you would put before another. If however the person is a Gemini then this rule does not seem to apply to them...s. Also, I think it was a good idea that society/the western world pushed the norm towards single partners. Historically, in my religion, multiple wives were actually called "worries/troubles/ I don't know how to exactly translate the word...but you get the point. Women and Men both can get pretty jealous and I think this is part of human nature and not something society taught us. If there are any strong emotions towards another person that seem to be "love" you might want to take a look at what is going on in the previous relationship......imo

Exactly...
Why do you say it is not in our nature to truly be in love with only one person? When you are intimatly "in-love" with a person at a given moment it is a love shared by you and another person ....2 people not 3 people.....Also our nature, as humans, is a much higher cognitive nature...you can not compare us to primitive mammals. We experience higher levels of emotions and complex feelings..I don't think most mammals are in love with several members of their group but rather they are "mating" and even with this I'm sure they have their "favorites". With regards to humans having desires for multiple partners these are "desires"...do you think men who go to hookers are "in-love" with the hookers? If this man is in-love with a woman who is naturally jealous and wants him home with her every night I am sure he will appease her or she will give him the boot. I think this is similar to the behavior of monogomous Gibbons (correct me if I am wrong). Regardless, I think only 2 people can share true love at a given moment, it is a special bond between 2 people and 2 people alone.  So many songs, poems, and stories have been written to describe this amazing exclusive bond....and sadly not everyone experiences true love......

brofessefef said:

 

We humans are left to our own devices.

Birdmagon said:

But if we humans were left to our own devices, we would not be monogamous. It's not in our nature. There are very few species that only have one partner for life.



Natkat128 said:

Personally I would say you can truly be intimately in love with only one person at a time. There is always a "favorite" or one that you would put before another. If however the person is a Gemini then this rule does not seem to apply to them...s. Also, I think it was a good idea that society/the western world pushed the norm towards single partners. Historically, in my religion, multiple wives were actually called "worries/troubles/ I don't know how to exactly translate the word...but you get the point. Women and Men both can get pretty jealous and I think this is part of human nature and not something society taught us. If there are any strong emotions towards another person that seem to be "love" you might want to take a look at what is going on in the previous relationship......imo

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