I could always beat up a stage hand and steal their clothes, just like in the cartoons
and its not like i'd do anything weird or bring harm to anything, probably just steal some snacks, see what shoe size everyone is, nothing weird
get naked and carry a sign that reads "god and buddah have teamed up we are all doomed"
this will scare away the bus driver/ backstage security.............put your clothes on, ditch the sign and act normal!!