I imagine dressing up like a pizza delivery man with an empty pizza box would work to get close to the tour bus, but I'm sure someone must've tried this fool-proof plan before, it's so perfect

 

or I hear dressing up like the DJ works pretty well

Tags: SECURITY!!!!, creeper, creepy, for, help, need, security, security?, wanted

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I think your best cover would have been not posting that you're sneaking onto the bus on a forum that Rivers reads.  Regardless, I say dress up as a police officer and try.  It'll be funny seeing a cop put hand cuffs on a cop.
I remember reading on here that a couple girls got backstage by saying they worked at the merch stand.

I could always beat up a stage hand and steal their clothes, just like in the cartoons

 

and its not like i'd do anything weird or bring harm to anything, probably just steal some snacks, see what shoe size everyone is, nothing weird

get naked and carry a sign that reads "god and buddah have teamed up we are all doomed"

this will scare away the bus driver/ backstage security.............put your clothes on, ditch the sign and act normal!!

Your gonna need the glasses with the fake nose and mustache, some overalls and a tool box. After that it's just a matter of waving around a wrench and b******* about how you just want to do your job and get back home.
Go around back.
Here's an idea - dress up as an old woman and say you are River's mama

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